Sorry I've been MIA. I've just been playing hide n seek and obviously I hide way too well for your liking. I'll try not to take that long to show myself again, but no promises.
I'm guessing you're wondering if I have ever had a run in with Mister White Shirt... and well here's the story: I haven't, the end. I still think about him every now and then, just wondering if he is still so lonely in this however many billion people world. I did find out that Tyler had just met moneybags Dave that night. Dave told me himself that he had no idea who he was, but looked like he needed a friend.
Yes, I still talk to old man Dave. I've even had "afternoon delight" with him. Get your mind outta the gutter, we just went to lunch and had a few drinks. Okay, Okay, okay we went back to his place AFTER lunch. I was starving. (FOR FOOD!) I didn't have any intentions of ACTUALLY hooking up with him, but we did... twice! He's a talker during sex... he's just a talker all the time really. He seems to always have on those chatty pants of his. He is also a complientmenter. I guess that's not the WORST thing in the world, but it can be when he tells all his business and plans with other females, THEN asks, "do you mind being a booty call every now and then?" WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?! Yes, we hooked up after really only knowing each other one night, but that's better then some. Again, I know I deserved that question, but I didn't think grown ass men still ASK that. A couple of my best friends and I took my son to his first Texas Rangers game last week to kick off Independence Day weekend. I knew Dave was suppose to be there from him chatting it up in bed, so I figured I could get a few drinks outta him. Don't judge me, you and I both know that you'd do the same thing if you knew how generous Dave is. The heffer never texted back. Then BLEW my phone up AFTER the game asking a million and one questions, plus the infamous, "Can you come over?" By this time it was 2:30 in the MORNING, NO I am not going to be a booty call when you could NOT answer my text at the game. Dave is just so chivalrous and texted the next couple days. Fridays are my early days, which he is very well aware of, but this Friday I was going out of town and still going to punish him for NOT responding to my text on Wednesday. Call me a brat, immature, whatever you want, but if you were getting the texts I was from him, then you'd understand completely! I didn't hear from Mr. I throw money around like there aren't poor people on the streets I could help all weekend; GREAT! He texted me yesterday asking how I was and all that crummy small talk bs. I can't really stand small talk. If we don't have anything to really talk about, then just don't text me. He finally made his way up to that damn question. You know the..."When are you going to come by?" question. "NEVER!" is the text I want to send, but I don't want the chance of running into him and be on bad terms, if you know what I mean. Yes, I am slightly a gold digger, but not intentionally. I just know that he is willing to spend money on me and any of my friends if he sees me out. I am more of an opportunist than gold digger..I see the opportunity to have things paid for by someone that only has himself to worry about and take advantage of the opportunity.
While Dave is over here with his booty call wanna be sessions, I have my exes to deal with. YES, multiple. I don't normally have relationships like I've said before, but outta the few that I have had, I have exes that linger around. (Not completely a bad thing). I dated this handsome fella, well now a couple years ago, and we worked together at the time. It was dandy until we broke up. I then remembered why I never date co-workers. It's always gotta be a rule for relationships, like rule number 3 or something. Anywho, we will just call him Princess Phillip. He is more of a diva then me. Well, maybe one day I'll just go into all kinds of details about our tragic relationship. It's one for the books, that IS for sure, but for now all you need to know is he is THE most diva confused father of three planner that pretty much shattered my heart to remind me why I do NOT do relationships in the first place. Good job, asshole. He texted me this weekend while I was enjoying seeing all my family at our typical Fourth of July shindig at the lake. He was fishing for information on my whereabouts as if he wanted me to join him in his Saturday outing to the club. I'm more of a bar type then a club type. Then proceeded to ask me to a movie on Sunday when I returned back the DFW area. I contemplated it, free movie, probably kissing cause we seem to always manage to do that, and possibly even ANSWERS to WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT FROM ME?! I didn't go and even better reason I didn't go is because he has/had a girlfriend. He was asking ME for relationship advice about him and his girl! REALLY? Ask your brother or mom or baby mommas, but your ex girlfriend that you know will always have feelings for you? He proves that men really do not think before the speak. Yes, I'm the idiot that actually gives advice because I'm oh so talented at separating friendship from feelings over the phone, but not in person. I'm working on the in person thing. In the end he has decided to break up with her because she is making him choose between her or his kids. I don't even know her, but she deserves to be hit over the head with a skillet or something like in the Golden Corral commercials While you're at it, hit Sir Phillip over the head as well because one he didn't end things right when she asked that and two because HE PLANS BREAKUPS Yes, you read that right... he is SIR DOUCHE BAG PHILLIP. I mean all the guys must drop to their knees when they see him because only douchers plan breakups and he admits to his so he must be King of the douchers of the world.
I know I said I'm dealing with multiple exes, which I am, but the other will have to wait. I've always got some kinda story to share with you readers. I've also decided I'm going to turn all these skanky posts into a novel. A novel with more luscious details that'll give you a feeling of being on cloud 9. I might even get so creative to expand it into NOVELS and leave everyone wanting more. Soon 50 shades of Grey will become the past and Blappin It will become the next big thing because it'll be a mixture of fantasy with reality that ordinary people who don't claim to be ordinary can sink into.
